I returned home from the professional conference, one time zone away, on Saturday night. From last Wednesday through this time, I had spent over 8 hours per day in lectures and professional luncheons and practice sessions. I spent the evenings making professional connections and connecting with old colleagues and friends. I slept in a hotel bed without my now beloved pregnancy pillow. It was both high intellectually stimulating and emotionally and physically exhausting.
Sunday morning, we were up and heading out for the day to spend time C's sister and her family while her husband graciously replaced the car breaks. I spent the time connecting with their 6-year-old who is notoriously shy and difficult to engage. This made it all the more precious that she became a chatterbox when it was just the two of us, playing Legos, and I sat back and let her take the lead in the play. We didn't get home until later that night, just in time for me to wash my entire maternity collection (just over a week's worth of clothes) to prepare for the coming week.
By Tuesday, my sister had arrived in from out-of-town to help prepare for the shower this upcoming week. I would work as a psychologist over the day and then come over to a house-guest and more preparation work in the evening. There was no down time. It was lovely to see her and spend time with her, but she liked staying up late to talk and bond.
Tonight, my best friend from graduate school arrives in from out of town for the shower. We are taking them out to dinner after work to celebrate the success of her IVF (11 weeks on Saturday!!!!!). Then Saturday I will be up early to finish ready-ing the house, decorating, and preparing the final food options for the party. The party is expected to go into the night and there will be several more house-guests staying over until Sunday.
Last night I completely melted down. C made one snippy comment that I took too personally and that was the end of me holding it together. I was exhausted and it wasn't over yet. I haven't been sleeping well. My muscles ache and my feet are swollen. There is still so much left to do and yet my body is not cooperative to accomplish anything in any expedient manor. Then I feel guilty that C and my parents are doing a large majority of the work around the house. I feel like a princess and I despise those types of people. I just want to sleep. I feel like an ungrateful jerk, but I would choose sleep over a baby shower and seeing my friend that I haven't seen in several months.
I really need to get better at moderation, pacing myself, and not sprinting through my marathons.