Wednesday, June 11, 2014

18 Weeks

I am officially at the point where I can no longer pretend I'm not pregnant. Patients are calling it from the waiting room. Colleagues are asking about it in the elevator. It's completely out in the open. I am 90% in maternity clothes and am already sick of my options. This is going to be a loooooong summer.

My weight is up 8-10 pounds depending on the day, which is a little bit more then I was hoping for. I am focusing on the fact that it seems primarily staying put in the belly region. I am trying hard to pick healthy choices for foods, but have definitely indulged in the occasional ice cream treat or macaroni and cheese.

Over the past two weeks, I have developed this insatiable hunger which is then followed by feeling overly stuffed and bloated. There is no happy medium, or at least I haven't figured it out yet.

Cravings? This is complicated. There are things that I used to like that I now love - hamburgers, cheese, macaroni and cheese, bagels with cream cheese (noticing a theme?), ice cream, berries - but I never get in a have-to-have-it mood. I did make a rule that I shouldn't be grocery shopping by myself because I pick out some weird crap that is not so well-rounded. Plus, I'll decide something sounds like a great idea in the store and then forget to eat it when we bring it home and completely lose interest.

Heartburn is still my prominent symptom. My OB told me to take Prilosec daily, but I get nervous about taking medicine so I tend to skip days when I'm feeling better and they I pay for it later. Congestion is also the bane of my existence and I keep going back and forth on whether it is due to allergies or a cold. I'm usually not an allergy prone person, but I know this is an especially bad year for people and, well, I've discovered nothing is off the table when you're pregnant. I still get random pains and twinges in my back and my abdomen. This is tolerable and they never last long enough to worry me.

Feeling anything? I have no clue! I can definitely feel a weight on my pelvis at times. Lately, I've been getting specific pains on my right side or lower abdominal region that could possibly be interpreted as being kicked or stabbed. But the key word here is pain. No fluttering. It's not particularly pleasant. Not what I'm imaging a sweet-potato-sized-human is capable of at this point. So I am interpreting this a my uterus continuing to expand and push other vital organs out of place. I am thinking about the actual baby feeling as an orgasm - when it happens, I'll know.

We got the results back of the second part of the sequential screening, which was just a blood test. The baby was given odds of 1/10,000 odds for Down syndrome or Trisomy 18 and 1/620 for open neural tube defects, which are both considered negative. I totally understand why they do the odds-ratio thing, but I don't like it. Yes, one in six hundred and twenty is pretty minimal, but I'd be happier if they just said said it's never going to happen.

Work is chugging along and I think the two-week-long maternity plan debate is finally behind me. Ultimately they went along with my original plan, but made me feel very under-appreciated in implying that I am at risk for "low productivity" (a dirty accusations these days...) when I work my ass off and am one of the very top performers in my department. Part of me wants to put it behind me, but then the emotional pregnant woman inside wants to make them abundantly clear how their  actions affect workplace satisfaction and undermine women. I've noticed that this emotional pregnant woman can be pretty feisty!

Speaking of emotions... I am not generally an emotional person. This past week I've found myself becoming incredibly irritable over the smallest things (My mom asked what I had planned after work in an annoying voice. How dare she!) or just very sad and upset. C will come in the room and I look like I'm about to start bawling. He'll ask what is wrong and then I tell him I have absolutely no idea, I just feel sad. Luckily he believes me and doesn't make it into anything bigger than it is. He hugs me and we try to laugh about it, but sometimes I still just want to cry. When I'm not emotionally volatile, I am very content and incredibly in love and appreciative of everything around me. Yeah, it's really a lovely roller-coaster ride over here...

This is enough baby-vomit. Hopefully some day soon I will be able to put together a coherent post about one topic.

1 comment:

  1. I have had the same emotional outbursts! Sometimes I just cry for no reason. My husband worry a but I seriously have to idea why. So, you are not alone. I too am having bad pains in my right side. So bad they sent me to the ER to rule out appendicitis. All is fine but the pain is sometimes unbearable. I hope yours subsides soon and you can just enjoy being pregnant. :)