C and I dated for a long time before getting married, but it was all long-distance. We met in undergrad but didn't actually start dating until I left for graduate school and he was in the corporate world. We didn't actually live in the same town until three weeks before our wedding! It was definitely a transition, and one of the big reasons that we agreed to put off having kids for a little while so we could enjoy being husband/wife before being parents.
The last three years has had its fair share of ups, downs, and transitions. C moved back to the Cleveland vicinity, both our home towns, leaving a secure job so that I could pursue my dream job. He had a very rough time finding a new job in his field and then ultimately decided to trade in the computer for a pair of scrubs and go back to school for nursing.
My dream job turned out to be much less than a dream and much more of a nightmare. I was so stressed and then became depressed, but eventually was able transfer to a different department in the same hospital and now I really do LOVE my job and it really is a dream come true.
C had difficult transition back to school. Nursing is very different from graphic design and marketing. He was put on probation and then forced to take a semester off. He got tutoring and pulled himself off the floor and started having much more success. He recently got a job as a nursing assistant to get more experience.
With C going back to school and not bringing in any/much income, we had to downsize from our original rental house and then ultimately decided to move in with my parents so that we could still work on saving for a house downpayment (although now that saving is in jeopardy of taking a back seat to infertility expenses). This has been a huge transition, but is getting easier.
When I look at everything we've already gone through together, I think it's no wonder that he's been such a great support and we've been a great team on our new challenge of infertility. Sure, there have been times when he doesn't understand me and tries to send my hormonal self straight to a psyc unit, but mostly he's been supportive and caring and patient. I hear from other people suffering from infertility (or many other family stresses for that matter), and how it pulls couples apart and destroys relationships. For us, it's been the opposite. I feel like we are stronger than ever and that we could tackle anything. I think we appreciate each other more and are both more patient and kind to one another. If there is such a thing as a silver lining of infertility, our relationship is mine.