There are a number of pregnant women at the one hospital that I work at. A large majority of the employees are women in their twenty and thirties so this is to be expected I suppose. Now, I am one of them.
Except I'm not.
The comments that I've received have really begun to get under my skin. First, there are the benign comments about "everyone is pregnant," which seem to imply that that this is the trendy thing to be doing right now and we all just decided to jump on the bandwagon together. Yep. I saw all those baby bumps and then decided I needed one of my own so I just went right ahead and got myself knocked up.
Worse, is the comment about people "not drinking the water" because apparently that is how babies are now made. First of all, this is just asinine and ignorant and I can't stand dumb comments from people who should otherwise not be so dumb. More importantly, this comment implies that making a baby really is that easy. Just drink the water. For those still struggling, message me and I'll give you the address to the hospital so you can stop by and have a sip from the tap. This is all it takes. Every time I hear this, it takes every ounce of my being to not scream that I wish I could have gotten pregnant that easy, but unfortunately I have the scars and the missed work and the medical bills to suggest otherwise.
Finally, I am cordial with one of the therapy managers and we both like to complain about how busy we are to one another as we pass by in the hallway. The other day, she decided it was appropriate to complain about all of the people working under her that were going or had gone on maternity leave and how inconvenient this was for her, as the manager, to figure out coverage, and how they should have timed it better. I know the last part was a joke, but I didn't care. It still shows the complete lack of understanding and acknowledgment that having a child is not easy for everybody and that the inconvenience of managing coverage does not even begin to compare with the "inconvenience" of infertility. To put it mildly.
I frequently wish I was more quick-witted. Usually I think of these responses too late for them to be of any use in the situation. One day though... one day someone is going to get an earful.
I feel your pain! I work in schools, and this year 4 of us were pregnant together. I was the last to announce, so after that everyone laughed and laughed about "the water." And although I did miraculously conceive naturally, I never found the humor. My struggle to get here was real, and not a joke or something I take lightly. But, I know nobody means it to be insensitive and they're really just happy for all of us.
ReplyDeleteCan we just make a t-shirt with an outline of this post?? 1.) You do not get pregnant by "drinking the water"! 2.) I did not do this to be trendy, cute, or otherwise part of a crowd. 3.) I did not do this to personally inconvenience YOU, you poor thing! Logically, I know that people who do not have knowledge of infertility can never know how insensitive their comments are, but seriously, the joking around about it is difficult to deal with...
ReplyDeleteI hate that comment. I heard it several times before we conceived Lucy (while we were on a break from treatments) as two co-workers were pregnant. I was never the one to be told the comment, but I so had a comeback ready. "Actually, it wasn't the water, it was the thousands of dollars that I spent on follistim, u/s and blood work, and the good timing of my husband's good semen sample for an IUI that got me pregnant."
ReplyDeleteYup! Oh the ignorance of some people must be so blissful. I got many comments like that at one of my jobs where 5 of the supervisors are all women of child bearing age.
ReplyDelete