IVF Monitoring Appointment #5: Cleared for Retrieval

My last monitoring appointment was yesterday. My estroidal only raised to 3500ish, which is great, but they still decided to go the Lupron trigger route. The follicles grew a little, but to be honest it wasn't a significantly noticeable difference. I now have 20 follicles between 10mm to 24mm. This sounds like a lot, but I know that some of them won't be mature and others might be "past-mature." I'm working on not having unrealistic expectations and setting myself up for disappointment.

I've taken the trigger shots. I've cancelled all my patients and cleared my schedule at work. I've showered and have my outfit picked out. I had a large dinner to prepare for being NPO after midnight. I've told everyone I wanted to tell that tomorrow is part one of the big day(s).

My very first therapy client as a graduate student was a young mother who had a little lower-then-average intelligence. She would have numerous worries related to her children's safety, especially when they were out of her sight at school or with their father, despite any evidence to suggest that there was any need to be concerned. She would get herself very worked up over this and had difficult focusing on other activities. We talked a lot of the purpose of anxiety, how it motivates us to take action. When we're anxious about a test, we study harder. When we're anxious about the snowy roads, we drive slower. But when there is nothing to do, when we have no control about a situation, the anxiety serves no purpose. It is wasted. This woman and I developed a mantra, "There is no point in worrying about something that you cannot control". Maybe it was that this woman was a little slower and needed a lot of repetition. Maybe it was because she was my very first client and therefore our appointments were much more salient. Whatever the reason, this mantra also became engrained in me.

There is no point in worrying about something I cannot control. This is where I am now. It's out of my hands.

Because we strive to maintain our immature sense of humor.