On a scale of -10 to +10, where 0 is neutral and the other numbers are self explanatory range from the most positive to the most negative, I will now quantify my reactions to various fertility status updates**:
+10: My very own positive pregnancy test (this is an assumption, of course, as I've never actually experienced this).
+9: A positive pregnancy announcement of a fellow IFer who got pregnant from IVF. This brings me joy for them and hope for me.
+6: A positive pregnancy announcement of any other IFer. Joy for them alone.
+3: The first baby announcement of a friend. I am happy that they do not have to go through what we are going through. Mild jealousy.
0: The random first baby announcement of a Face.book "friend". Great job at being fertile and avoiding this misery. I don't really care.
-2: Celebrity pregnancy announcements. Why do people care so much that it has to plastered all over the front pages of magazines that you can't avoid but seeing when you just need to pop into the grocer to by some milk and bananas? No baby is that important, unless you're religious and then I'll give you Jesus Christ, but even he didn't get this amount of publicity.
-5: Second, third, or fourth pregnancy announcements and further status updates on Face.book or otherwise. I get it - you're fertile. Get over it already and stop rubbing it in.
-8: Hearing pregnant women complain about their pregnancy or parents complain about raising children, especially when said complaints are given directly to me (vs stated generally over the FB). I have pretty good empathy skills, but I can't begin to understand these woes.
-10: The news of a failed IVF, chemical pregnancy, or miscarriage from a fellow IFer. This brings me such sorrow for them and also sheer terror for myself.
**Subject to change upon further deliberation, emotional state, or my own fertility status updates. How would you rank the following?