Friday, November 15, 2013

Two Week Envy

I have a confession. When I read about and hear about the stress and agony of others enduring their "two-week-waits," I get jealous. I know this is ridiculous. I am sure it stressful. I am sure the disappointment at the end must be excruciating. I wouldn't really know. I haven't experienced it. I haven't had a confirmed ovulation since we began trying.

My story has been something like this: take medicine, wait for the ultrasound, get told you're not responding to medicine, wait until you're able to take progesterone, then wait for the period to begin the next round. My two+ weeks consists of waiting for a period, without the hope or expectation that anything else is even remotely possible. Maybe this is easier is some way. My let-down comes at day 12 rather than day 28.

As icing on the cake, without ovulating I don't usually get a period without medicine (and sometimes even this doesn't work) and so my cycles are usually longer than 40 days. My two weeks are usually more along the lines of 3-4 weeks.

My mom keeps asking for updates, wanting to stay abreast, as her way of being supportive. Often I get snippy and agitated because my usual response is that we're "waiting". Never waiting in excitement or waiting with hope. Just waiting.

This is a very whinny and self-absorbed post. Logically, I know that others have had it much harder. But this is how I feel. And this will likely be my only fertility update for the next two weeks or so. I am within the process of waiting and mentally preparing for the next step.


  1. It's ok to be whiny and self absorbed sometimes! It just means you have feelings, and valid ones. Not ovulating is so frustrating!

  2. I completely understand that, I don't think it's ridiculous at all. Even though the TWW is really hard, it's generally my happiest time because I can entertain the idea that I could possibly be pregnant. I'm sorry you don't get to have that bit of hope, you certainly deserve it! And hopefully all these hormones will do the trick and you'll get there soon!