On Thursday I found out that I'm not responding to the Letrozole. Specifically, the nurse was "not impressed" with my ovaries. Frankly, I haven't been impressed with them for a while.
My estrogen level was actual lower than during my baseline, so the RE wants to bump me up right away to 7.5mg. That's the good news. I remind myself that if I was still with my old RE, I would be taking only 2.5mg now and would likely be forced to wait until my period shows up to do 5 and then wait again to get to 7.5, so it's definitely nice that we get to cut out all the bullshit and go straight into a higher dose. Simultaneously, I am nervous because I know that this is the last stop before injectibles...before I have subject myself to daily shots and a lot more monitoring appointments...before I need to break down and tell my boss that I need to rearrange my schedule to be able to make all these appointments...before we seriously up-the-financial-ante.
I know I shouldn't focus on this. I need to focus on positive thoughts of 7.5mg being "my dose".
Thursday I also got in a fight with my sister. She said some really selfish things and was generally unsupportive of the news I received. This actually made me feel worse then the actual news.
I struggled to finish my day. I went to bed early. I struggled to go through an equally trying work-day on Friday. Then I went out with some friends for a drink and dinner and had a genuinely good time. Today I have the weekend to re-group, relax, and pull myself up. I'll get there. I always do. This is a just another bump in the road.