Thursday, January 16, 2014

Action not Introspection

I have had writers block lately. On the one hand, I have a million things to say and updates to give. Yet I can't seem to form a coherent strand of sentences. I think I'm still in full-on planning mode. No time for introspection.

First, there was the issue of getting on the same page as C. We had some serious conversations about "what if...". What if we spend our house money and I don't get pregnant? How long are we willing to live with my parents?

Then came the issue of choosing a doctor. I know, I just went through this a few months ago. I love my doctor. I have complete trust in him. He is also at the competing the hospital and, therefore, clearly doesn't offer the [pretty substantial] employee discount for IVF. Is my comfort level for worth the significant extra expense? Do I risk returning to the hospital that drove me away just a few short months ago?

Finally, there's the issue of timing. Waiting a few months or pushing forward immediately? How will this affect work, with having several big presentations coming up and patients scheduling 6-8 weeks out? C is just beginning his notoriously most challenging class yet. The logistics of scheduling pre-testing appointments has been challenging. But when will our lives ever be conflict free?

Until we have a little more clarity, C and I have agreed to keep our plans to ourselves. Aside from me announcing across the internet, anonymously, a few days ago. There are many reasons for this, but it is definitely a sharp contrast from the previous situation where my parents were likely aware of my specific cycle day. I feels nice, so have this secret between just us for now. Maybe that's another reason I've been hesitant to divulge all on the blog.

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