I am back into planning mode. Tomorrow I meet with my boss to discuss options for taking time off on the retrieval and transfer days. He generally knows about me in infertility treatment and has been supportive of adjusting my schedule around, but this is a little different. For this, I will need cancel up to two full days, with minimal notice. I typically have 6-8 patients scheduled each day, who have been waiting 2-3 months to get an appointment, so this aspect gives me a lot of anxiety. I talked about it with Dr. F and she noted the contrast between psychology and medicine; I can’t just get another psychologist to “cover me” for the day. There’s this whole therapeutic relationship thing to contend with. I do generally have Wednesday afternoons for planning/paperwork purposes so my one thought would be to just move them to this day. My other option was to pre-emptively cancel my whole week and then add back in patients on the days that my procedures aren’t. I actually think this would be the preferable option, but depending on the timing of when we begin, I may already be completely booked so this won’t be possible. C told me to stop worrying about it when we don’t even know exact timing, but I argued that me worrying about it now will mean that I’m less worried about it when it’s happening (and when worrying is more detrimental). Sorry, this is really boring.
I also now feel the need to tell other important people, although I’m not sure how big I want this circle to be yet. Definitely our parents and siblings. Maybe some friends. Maybe other relatives. I do believe in the support of positive thoughts and prayer so this reality is in tension with my strong desire to be private. I know of a lot people who might like to pray for us. But then I also don’t want have to tell them that it didn’t work and we just blew our house money on 60% odds. Or have to tell people that we are pregnant before we’re ready. Oh geez, it feels like I just went through this.
My nursing appointment is scheduled for next Wednesday. We get STD and genetic testing and go over our calendar and specific plan together. Then C gets to have relations to a plastic cup to submit a sample for freezing and I get to be probed by camera for my hysteroscopy. How romantic. We also have to be decided on all the hypotheticals on this date, which we’ve been casually discussing in small doses and these discussions typically end with some joke about us getting divorced and who will get the dog.
Before this appointment, I need to figure out if the genetic testing will be covered by insurance and get my UH records transferred to CC. I’m also trying to get price quotes on the medicine, but I can only stand to work on this for so long because insurance companies are so infuriating.
Ready, Set, Break!
60% odds are pretty good and there will always be more time to save up for a house. :) This is my first visit to your blog and I am trying not to be a lurker! Good luck in all of the decisions you have to make and good luck with your cycle!
ReplyDeleteThanks for visiting! Good luck with your two week wait as well.
DeleteI have decided that I like to tell people what's up so they know what I'm going through, but I don't like to tell them WHEN things are, because then you end up in the "I'm not ready to share whether this cycle worked but they know I know, ah!" I think I would just be upfront and say "please don't ask about when retreivals, transfers or betas are because I may not want to share, but will feel bad saying so in the moment." Then hope they have some common decency!
ReplyDeleteHappy ICLW! It is the worst trying to do this without telling your employer, so tricky and such a pain. So much planning, planning, planning, all the lead up to the "big day" and then it's all over in a flash and you just have to wait. Poo to that, I say! Strength to you for this cycle!
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