Friday, December 27, 2013

Break, Breaking, Broken

It started off so well. Five mature follicles. The first time a medicine regimen has worked since I began trying. Five great opportunities for a fantastic Christmas present.

When that fell through, I pulled myself off the floor. Instead, my Christmas present was a lovely period with cramps and vomiting. I focused on this being a fresh start and new beginning in time for the new year.

Today was my baseline ultrasound for that new beginning. Today I learned that I have two large "leftover" follicles measuring over 25mm a piece, one in each ovary, each looking half deflated and described as entirely useless at this point. I held my breath until 2pm when they finally called to tell me the verdict. My fate for the next month, decided by a doctor.

I'm out.

I am to call them in 28 days if when I don't get my period, in which case they'll prescribe 7-10 days of Provera and then I will hopefully, but never consistently, get my period and begin again. So for the next 28 - 45 days, I am back to waiting without hope.

I don't know how to end this. I don't have anything prolific to say. I keep oscillating between drowning in my own misery and pulling myself back up, moving forward, and staying positive. Frankly, both of these options are exhausting and unappealing.


  1. I have been there so many times before - it really, really sucks. I hope you end up with a not too insanely long cycle so you can try again soon.

  2. This is crap luck. That news that this won't be the cycle is so freaking depressing ... sending you hugs as you try to get through this news.

  3. Oh Katie. I'm so sorry. The disappointments and setbacks are always so hard to handle. Hoping you find your strength to keep going.

  4. Katie I'm so sorry. It sucks that the good news that you finally responded to meds had to be followed by this huge letdown. It's like IFers just can't have anything go well for too long. Hang in there!

  5. Bummer. I'm sorry this is so difficult!